So for the past three weeks I have been watching Gilmore Girls like a truly devoted fan with insomnia (oh wait..) and after watching five episodes in a row, I tried to go to sleep. I wasn't feeling tired, so I started thinking about life. I believe that about 10 times a year every single person in this world lies awake at night thinking:
"Am I on the right path?" "Will I be ever good enough?" "Why does every one at SVU get marreid?" "My best friend is getting married and I'm doing what with my life?"
Then I remembered I have this book that my wonderful parents got me. The book is called Dance While You Can. It's not an LDS book, though it makes a valid point that we need to live life to fullest. The first page is this sad poem:
First I was dying to get out of high school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
And then I was dying to marry and have children.
And then I was dying for my children
to grow old enough
so I could get back to my career.
And then I was dying to retire.
And now I am dying...
and suddenly realize that I forgot to live.
-Author Unknown
And thanks to Mr. Unknown, I realized that I am beginning to do the same thing. I sit up thinking what am I going to do with my future. I sit and see my friends get married left and right, I see people graduating college and all I think to myself is "Gee, I can't wait for that to happen to me." I had forgotten to love and enjoy where I am now. Yes, I may possibly be nowhere near getting married and I may have only a year left of school (depending if I ever write this dang AWP for Cluff.) I am just sitting here at school, dying to get to the next step of my life already. You know how when you put something in the microwave, even if it's just 30 seconds to 1 minute. Standing there looking at it feels like for-ev-er. Only when you decide to go check your laundry while your hot pocket is cooking, the thing you want most comes as fast as you want it when you stare at it.
There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions.
Said by Uctdorf. Oct 2010.
Yes, it's true, but even when you are taking the time to smell the roses, how is it going to help you with long run of making your life worth something so you can stop living with regrets?
I keep reading my book and come across this: I will make a commitment to fulfilling my dreams no matter what I may be feeling and I will dare to move forward in the face of life's challenges. I believe that what God has placed inside me is superior to the mountains that stand in my way.
He really did. He loves me that much.That He has it all worked out for me, and I need to trust him, and do what He asks of me. I need to live. I need to live my life day by day, step by step and enjoy the little things that he has blessed me with. Find the moments that matter most and keeping those with to get through each stage of my life. God has a plan for me, and he will make sure that I am happy.
I will let the love of God
touch the depths of my heart
and mold me into the person I should be.
I will make love the center
of my being and all I do.
I look back at my high school days and my middle school days and I don't remember enjoying them. I barely remember my freshman year of college, but what sticks out the most to me are the times where I know the spirit is involved. and if we let the spirit in our lives every day, every moment we can, we will have more precious memories, we will have more things that will be worth our time that will truly benefit us in the long run. I will savor the beauty and wonder of the world around me.
I am so grateful for this gospel, this church, and the friends I have made here. I will take what is given to me and make a masterpiece, so that my children and my grandchildren can see through my eyes and learn that they are children of God, that they are all part of this beautiful painting called Life on Earth.
From now on I will take the time to stop, look, think of my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, say 'thank you' and smile because I know I am loved no matter what.
peace
PS. Enjoy :)
