To Harley

My niece, Harley, has a learning disability and was born with a cleft lip. She has come very far in the past two years learning to talk and socializing. She may not be where the average five year old should be, but she is an amazing child and is so wonderful. I am so blessed to have her in my life, and she is teaching me so much with out even knowing it.

Bucket list.

Now I don't actually keep a bucket list, and I should, but I do have a list of things I want to do/accomplish/try/would be way cool if it happened before I die.

*Graduate college.
*Be on a TV show
*Be in a movie
*Dance in a music video
*Write a song
*Try out for So You Think You Can Dance
*Be a model
*Bungee jump.
*Own a theatre
*Say something inspirational and be quoted on it.
*Get married in the Temple.
(*Find someone that wants to put up with my craziness.)
*Write a book/novel.
*Play piano/ukulele like a boss
*Be a mom.


And I'm sure I'll be adding more as time goes on! But that's all I got for now!

Where we began

Start by taking my hand
and you ask me to dance.
Step left. Step right.
We spin and hold tight
And we're back to where we began.


Still the music makes a command
Don't stop dancing, a one, two, three
You do your best at leading me


Now I feel my heart beat
catching up to your feet.
Spin me around.
We look at the ground.
And we're back to where we began.


Music makes it's second command.
We're still dancing, a four, five, six
We get swept up and go for a kiss.


Suddenly we both stop
Who knew that this dance brought
Perfect partners.
Perfect lovers.
And we move past where we began.







peace

Happy?

So at school, everyone seems like they are all hooking up, coupling up, and getting engaged. And then I joined Pinterest, and more than half of the pins I keep seeing are ones like these:



#Awwwh!#

#AWWWHHH!#

#ooOOOOooooo!#

#Precious!#

So. I wrote this in response to how I truly feel about all of this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is here, there and everywhere
So many emotions, that I can't bear.


Everyone's going out to the church steeple
All I can say is "stupid happy people"...


The. End.

peace

I miss.

I wrote this poem in honor of my friend, Yiselle. From her to her man, Jeremy. (Pookie or fish face, however you know him.)


Enjoy.




I miss driving with you over the summer.
I miss our lunch dates that couldn't last longer.
I miss waking up to you watching me sleep.
I miss all night conversations where we got all deep.


I miss the time when you got my mom flowers.
I miss fishing with you for hours and hours.
I miss the texts that always make me smile.
I miss walking with you for miles and miles.


Although you've been gone for over a year
I'm still stuck wishing you were here.


I know we've got a little while longer
Doesn't mean I don't dream of that summer.
I miss you like crazy. 
I miss you calling me "baby"
Now, I won't sit here and rust,
but doesn't mean I don't miss us.


I miss the dates where people couldn't stop watching us.
I miss my dad treating you like you were one of us.
I miss the time when you picked me daisies.
I miss reading with you and just being lazy.


I miss the safe feeling you always gave me.
I miss your eyes, blue, and so gazing.
I miss our fights, pointless, and for no sake.
I miss dancing in the moonlight by the lake.


You're growing along beside me,
although you're far away from me.


All this comes down to 
is that I still love you.


I know we've got a little while longer
Doesn't mean I don't dream of that summer.
I miss you like crazy. 
I miss you calling me "baby"
Now, I won't sit here and rust,
but doesn't mean I don't miss us.

peace

Pride and Prejudice

My school just got done with the play Pride and Prejudice. Now I've never been able to stay awake in any movie version, and I could never get past page six of the book. But, I could def do the play we did. I played Kitty Bennet. She is the second youngest of the girls, and being her was a lot of fun. What I liked most about her was that I absolutely made her my own. I didn't base her off any of the movies or what others told me to be like. I did what I felt Kitty was like. And. I. Was. Funny.

For once.

:)

And everything that I did that was funny, I discovered it on my own. No one told me how I should do what or how I should say what. I got it all figured out. Heck yes to acting classes!

My best moments:

"Pray, Mary, how many times have your books flirted back?"

(I'm laughing at Lydia for getting told to go to her room.) Mrs Bennet: "Kitty! you too!" (Walk out of the room with my head down.)

"WHHHHYYYY????? Whhhhyyy????"

"What is the matter, Mama? What do you keep winking at me for? What am I to do?"

(leave the room with Mama, and Mary awkwardly)

"...And less insipid" (Shoo away soldiers, see them walk away, and then run after one of them.) "Come back!"

Oh yeah. I'm funny. And cute. That might be part of my charm.

Unsaid.

This poem is from a moment of weakness, from a long time ago. I've moved on from it and I am definitely happier than I have been in a while. :) So grateful for the people in my life right now.

Enjoy this heartbroken poem.








Been too long a time, Never see you anymore.
Finally got in touch, You arrived at my door.
Feeling like old times, as if there was no change.
Few months ago you only called my name.


Time has passed, no second chance,
no third, or fourth romance
that shot ended up a miss
not even one last kiss


We take a long walk, avoiding memory lane
keeping a safe distance, nothing else to gain.
We took a break and laid down in the street.
Ignored the cold, no feeling in our feet.


We talked halfway through the night.
Feeling like I lost sight
of what was wrong before
then you said bye at my door.


My heart sinks, cause you've moved on.
Forgetting the good times, they're gone.
You have someone new, the past is dead
We move on, leaving words unsaid.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you like what I'm writing, PLEASE let me know! I'd love to hear your comments.
peace

d.Co. Video

Here is a promo video I made for Dance Company's first performance on December 1st at the Boys basketball game!

Help out the dance team and post this video on Facebook! I deactivated my account for a while and so I need you to post it! Please and Thank you!

peace

Run With Me.

New poem. Enjoy.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I remember a time when the rain started to pour.
We looked outside and wanted to make it our dance floor.
I pulled back, thinking it'd only happen in my head.
But you opened up the door, looked at me and said:


Run with me, dance with me, the rain is so inviting.
We complain that life is dull, so let's be exciting.
We ran about, underneath clouds of gray
Got our hair wet, all cause you had to say:


Run with me, dance with me, the rain is so inviting
If I said this moment wasn't perfect, I'd be lying
I miss it so much, but I'll let it be
But never forget when you said "Run with me."

Please feel free to comment so I know if this sucks or not.

peace

New favorite songs.

Two new songs by Taylor Swift, that were not originally on her new album.
And they are probably my favorites by her by far.

Ours.

If This Was A Movie.

PS. I get to see Taylor Swift in one week :) My first real concert. EVER. So excited.

Alchemy.

So, during the end of summer I was having some relationship/friendship/love/dating problems. (If you know me and the situation I was in, you understand.) Anyway! I was talking to my mom about it. I told her how confused I was on what was right or what to think. (This was in August, right before school started) My mom pulled out this newspaper clipping titled "Boyfriend's 'perfect' ex fuels women's insecurity"

Yeah, my reaction too.

It's this woman asking for advice from the 'advice lady' of the newspaper and she tells her about how her current boyfriend's ex was a really beautiful, perfect, and they have great chemistry between them and how he had a fear of her breaking up with him when they were dating, which she was going to do because she got tired of reassuring him and his insecurities. They broke up, whatever, and he's dating this advice seeking girl. He doesn't worry about her because she's a 'real girl'. Which can be interpreted as: Not as beautiful, and not likely to dump him for someone better.

...insecure little boy.

Moving on.

Here is the 'advice lady's' response: 


There are two ways to fall in love. One is to fall for the individual, and that can include looks, mannerisms, voice, beliefs, talents, education and a whole lot of very important attributes. 


The other way is to fall for what you and this other person create together. Seamless conversation, easy laughter, a need to explain yourselves that verges on zero, a mutual and rewarding sense of purpose, a lack of self-consciousness, emotional security, and both the knowledge that you can take this person for granted and the certainty that you don't want to, because you want to give as fully as you receive. 


The first kind of love (love on sight) lends itself to looking over one's shoulder for rivals. If I'm blown away by this beautiful/smart/compassionate person, the reasoning goes, then others will be, too... and one of them will have a lot more to offer than I do. It's a valid concern, since there's always someone better. 


The second kind of love is of far higher value than landing a model or an M.D. Think "alchemy". The transformation of common materials into something precious.


Now ask yourself which you love have, one of attributes, or of alchemy?


(Carolyn Hax, Honolulu Star, Friday 8/12/11, D6)


It's good, right? I had never thought about comparing relationships to 'alchemy' before. I mean 'alchemy' is taking Boron and making Gold or something. Like, how does that work in dating? Well, after reading the article I've decided that I want to find my eternal companion by 'alchemy'. ...Wow, that sounds weird.... There are tons of people that I have wonderful chemistry with.

Chemistry: A strong mutual attraction, attachment, or sympathy.

Which is great and all, but can only take you so far with that person.

Alchemy: A power or process of transforming something common into something special.

That's the kind of relationship I need, I want, I deserve. I love dance and I like acting and Theatre. I like the arts. But, now my future husband doesn't have to be a dancer or an actor. I just want someone that I can create with. Someone that can encourage my creativity and my well being to be my best and I can encourage theirs. Someone who will give as fully as they receive.

Someone that I just fit with.

I always like to think of things like puzzles. Like, when I'm choreographing I try different ideas til I find the right "fit". My best friendships are always the ones where the other person fills in what I'm missing and I fill in what they're missing. And because we fit in the missing parts of each other we are able to help, grow, improve, and strengthen each others weaknesses.


-Dr. Seuss 

Now, maybe I'm getting too deep with this, and maybe that's a lot to ask of someone, but it's how I feel. I feel like that's why Heavenly Father brings certain people together. To learn. To learn something about yourself that you didn't know before. To learn something that will benefit you in the future. To learn whatever it is that Heavenly Father may have in store for you.

Sometimes we learn about letting go for the better. Whether we want to be with them or not, 'alchemy' stands true that you can get through anything. Writing this blog post and reading through the 'alchemy' list, I find that my past relationships had somethings missing, and we didn't fill in for each other. I had a hard time letting a couple of them go. Felt myself going crazy. Good thing I stopped before I got any worse...

peace

Testimony.

Today, the cast of Pride and Prejudice had a testimony meeting today at our director's house. Now, I have nothing against testimony meetings, I love em, I love hearing what people have to share. Though, I never share my testimony. Not that I don't have one, cause I do. But I only share it in large group settings when I feel that I absolutely have to. (Something about standing up in front of a whole bunch of people at church scares me. Too bad I'm a theatre major.)

Today was one of those selective times I shared.

My friend, Laura, was sharing her testimony and she talked about how just a couple years ago she was a completely different person, and how she has come back to the gospel. (My life story too, wouldn't cha know) And the whole time she was talking I could hear my heart beating and then my hands started shaking. It was like I had downed a couple energy drinks without eating anything. (My body is not accustom to caffeine, btw.) The spirit was practically screaming at me, in it's own way, to share my testimony after Laura.

I shared my brief, vague, life story. And she thanked me at the end of my testimony.

I did what I what I did. I don't know why I was thanked or why I had to share it. But I'm glad I listened, and followed through with it.

Go. Me.

peace

Housemates

So at my house or place or apartment (I live in someone's basement) There are four of us living here. I have a single room, and across from me is my friend's room. We're on one side of the house and on the opposite side of the house is a shared room with the other two girls living here. Both of these girls are engaged. Not to each other... that'd be awkward...
But they have found happiness, their eternal companions, love of their lives, blah, blah, blah... Whatever. And on my side, my friend and I are single, miserable, and hate life.

Okay, not really, we don't hate life but we are pretty miserable and stressed out over on our side. Anyway! We have crap everywhere in this house, our kitchen has so much stuff in it, I don't know who owns what, and I can't wait for some certain people to get married and move out so I can organize this kitchen! I just wanna have some organization in this place! When I moved in, no one told me where things go, and whose stuff goes where. I just kinda had to figure it out on my own. Yeah, I got it all wrong, I'm still finding out who has what drawer or shelf. I'm not offended or anything by it, I just find it all a little annoying but I can make this place more suitable to me and my friend in just two months. Oh, and I'm not quiet about it. I'm sure my engaged housemates are pissed about it, but I don't really care. I'm down with holding back everything, but I'm a blunt person, well, I used to be.
 I like being blunt.
Makes communication easier.

peace