Shine.

To all the haterz. Here is a poem for you.





I can see the judgment in your eyes
Visibly peering behind the blinds.
Think turning out the lights help you hide?
Go ahead, keep a closed-mind,
I'll do me and shine.


Say what you want 'bout me.
I'm bein' the best I can.
You don't like what you see.
But, I love who I am.




peace

New poem!

New poem!

I don't know where this one came from, but I started writing it when I was flying home yesterday!

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Walking me back to my door.
Wishing the day gave us more.
Not ready for this day to end.
But ready to be more than friends.


My heart gave a leap
when you made a sweep.
Pulled me in real close,
our lips made the choice.


You catch me quick before I fall too fast
And I felt like I had forgotten my past
Don't know what I was doing before you.
But the future, I can't wait to do.


The world is spinning.
Head over heels, I'm flipping.
My heart it's skipping
Didn't know it'd be like this..


My body went numb,
Left speechless and dumb.
An unexpected twist,
a perfect first kiss.






peace

Finals.

DONE!



...finally...


peace

The Help.

I just got done watching The Help (Way good. See it.) And there is a phrase that is repeated through out the movie.

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."

And then this all came to my mind....

Remember that whatever you throw yourself into what ever you go through, remember that you are kind, smart and important, as long as you choose to be. Heavenly Father loves us, wants the best for us. You are always going to be one of his own. So never be afraid. Never be afraid to jump. Never be afraid to say what is on your mind. And never be afraid to be your own person. We are all meant to be unique. So, it doesn't matter what people say about you. It matters what you say about yourself. We were never intended to hate ourselves for whatever it is we have done or did. We are meant to get over it, and become better. Because no matter what happens to you in life, (and you make a choice for the better cause) you should always remember that You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Always.

peace

Crazy, Stupid, Love

I really really really like this movie. It's so good, and funny.
           
"I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one... you never give up."


"I'm so mad at you. I'm really mad at you for what you did. But I'm mad at myself too. Because I should not have jumped out that car - I should have fought for you. Because you fight for your soul mates." "I miss you."

It's so cute :)

A True Friend.

I was talking to my wonderful, wonderful friend, Yiselle, I realized how strong our friendship is. I was feeling some strong emotions, yada, yada, yada. I wrote a poem. About her. And our friendship.

Kinda mushy. So sorry about that. but I hope you like it!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our first day of college, just moved in.
I knocked on your door, make a new friend.
You opened up and we sat right down
in the hallway where friends are found.


Road trips, long talks,
Wal*Mart runs at 2 am.
Disney movies, blasting music,
singin' as loud as we can.
Even when I mess up,
doin' something I shouldn't do
Yet you still pick me up,
Cause I got a true friend in you.


We hit one year now, been through so much.
Ups and downs, but we didn't lose touch.
We're gonna survive second year
Even when the worst of what we fear


Road trips, long talks
Wal*Mart runs at 2 am
Disney movies, blasting music,
singin' as loud as we can.
Times when you got so low
And didn't know what to do.
I'd never let you go solo.
That's what true friends do.


Then there is the time where I did slip.
Never expected me to be so selfish.
I broke your trust, the worst I could've done
But you stood up and said with love


We'll get through this mess,
My best friend is you
It'll be tough I confess
but our friendship is true.


After that mess we're stronger than ever
Got out of it, it made us better.
Back then I didn't really have a clue
that I'd have a true friend in you.

Yep. Sums it up pretty nicely. Thought she'd deserve something after all we've been through together.
peace

Update on me!

Okay, so, Unsaid is back on here, click on it if you would like to read it. It's a heartbreak one, of something that happened a good long while ago. So I'm not heartbroken anymore!

Dance Company had our first performance of the semester. (Finally) Here is the dance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb4zL_jHkCw
Performed at our guys' basketball game, at halftime.

I also just recently got into the Hunger Game books.

 SO. GOOD. I just finished the first book and it was amazing. Like almost as good as Harry Potter. And I LOVE HARRY POTTER.

I just started the second book, Catching Fire. So, here's to sleepless nights for the rest of the week!

What else is new.....?

Semester is almost over! I can't wait to go home, and just be home. Away from BV, the people, school, classes, and homework. When I get home I just want to chill, read some books, work out, start choreographing some new dances for dance company, and "try" to get tan. Ahhh! Paradise here I come!

peace

To Harley

My niece, Harley, has a learning disability and was born with a cleft lip. She has come very far in the past two years learning to talk and socializing. She may not be where the average five year old should be, but she is an amazing child and is so wonderful. I am so blessed to have her in my life, and she is teaching me so much with out even knowing it.

Bucket list.

Now I don't actually keep a bucket list, and I should, but I do have a list of things I want to do/accomplish/try/would be way cool if it happened before I die.

*Graduate college.
*Be on a TV show
*Be in a movie
*Dance in a music video
*Write a song
*Try out for So You Think You Can Dance
*Be a model
*Bungee jump.
*Own a theatre
*Say something inspirational and be quoted on it.
*Get married in the Temple.
(*Find someone that wants to put up with my craziness.)
*Write a book/novel.
*Play piano/ukulele like a boss
*Be a mom.


And I'm sure I'll be adding more as time goes on! But that's all I got for now!

Where we began

Start by taking my hand
and you ask me to dance.
Step left. Step right.
We spin and hold tight
And we're back to where we began.


Still the music makes a command
Don't stop dancing, a one, two, three
You do your best at leading me


Now I feel my heart beat
catching up to your feet.
Spin me around.
We look at the ground.
And we're back to where we began.


Music makes it's second command.
We're still dancing, a four, five, six
We get swept up and go for a kiss.


Suddenly we both stop
Who knew that this dance brought
Perfect partners.
Perfect lovers.
And we move past where we began.







peace

Happy?

So at school, everyone seems like they are all hooking up, coupling up, and getting engaged. And then I joined Pinterest, and more than half of the pins I keep seeing are ones like these:



#Awwwh!#

#AWWWHHH!#

#ooOOOOooooo!#

#Precious!#

So. I wrote this in response to how I truly feel about all of this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is here, there and everywhere
So many emotions, that I can't bear.


Everyone's going out to the church steeple
All I can say is "stupid happy people"...


The. End.

peace

I miss.

I wrote this poem in honor of my friend, Yiselle. From her to her man, Jeremy. (Pookie or fish face, however you know him.)


Enjoy.




I miss driving with you over the summer.
I miss our lunch dates that couldn't last longer.
I miss waking up to you watching me sleep.
I miss all night conversations where we got all deep.


I miss the time when you got my mom flowers.
I miss fishing with you for hours and hours.
I miss the texts that always make me smile.
I miss walking with you for miles and miles.


Although you've been gone for over a year
I'm still stuck wishing you were here.


I know we've got a little while longer
Doesn't mean I don't dream of that summer.
I miss you like crazy. 
I miss you calling me "baby"
Now, I won't sit here and rust,
but doesn't mean I don't miss us.


I miss the dates where people couldn't stop watching us.
I miss my dad treating you like you were one of us.
I miss the time when you picked me daisies.
I miss reading with you and just being lazy.


I miss the safe feeling you always gave me.
I miss your eyes, blue, and so gazing.
I miss our fights, pointless, and for no sake.
I miss dancing in the moonlight by the lake.


You're growing along beside me,
although you're far away from me.


All this comes down to 
is that I still love you.


I know we've got a little while longer
Doesn't mean I don't dream of that summer.
I miss you like crazy. 
I miss you calling me "baby"
Now, I won't sit here and rust,
but doesn't mean I don't miss us.

peace

Pride and Prejudice

My school just got done with the play Pride and Prejudice. Now I've never been able to stay awake in any movie version, and I could never get past page six of the book. But, I could def do the play we did. I played Kitty Bennet. She is the second youngest of the girls, and being her was a lot of fun. What I liked most about her was that I absolutely made her my own. I didn't base her off any of the movies or what others told me to be like. I did what I felt Kitty was like. And. I. Was. Funny.

For once.

:)

And everything that I did that was funny, I discovered it on my own. No one told me how I should do what or how I should say what. I got it all figured out. Heck yes to acting classes!

My best moments:

"Pray, Mary, how many times have your books flirted back?"

(I'm laughing at Lydia for getting told to go to her room.) Mrs Bennet: "Kitty! you too!" (Walk out of the room with my head down.)

"WHHHHYYYY????? Whhhhyyy????"

"What is the matter, Mama? What do you keep winking at me for? What am I to do?"

(leave the room with Mama, and Mary awkwardly)

"...And less insipid" (Shoo away soldiers, see them walk away, and then run after one of them.) "Come back!"

Oh yeah. I'm funny. And cute. That might be part of my charm.

Unsaid.

This poem is from a moment of weakness, from a long time ago. I've moved on from it and I am definitely happier than I have been in a while. :) So grateful for the people in my life right now.

Enjoy this heartbroken poem.








Been too long a time, Never see you anymore.
Finally got in touch, You arrived at my door.
Feeling like old times, as if there was no change.
Few months ago you only called my name.


Time has passed, no second chance,
no third, or fourth romance
that shot ended up a miss
not even one last kiss


We take a long walk, avoiding memory lane
keeping a safe distance, nothing else to gain.
We took a break and laid down in the street.
Ignored the cold, no feeling in our feet.


We talked halfway through the night.
Feeling like I lost sight
of what was wrong before
then you said bye at my door.


My heart sinks, cause you've moved on.
Forgetting the good times, they're gone.
You have someone new, the past is dead
We move on, leaving words unsaid.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you like what I'm writing, PLEASE let me know! I'd love to hear your comments.
peace

d.Co. Video

Here is a promo video I made for Dance Company's first performance on December 1st at the Boys basketball game!

Help out the dance team and post this video on Facebook! I deactivated my account for a while and so I need you to post it! Please and Thank you!

peace

Run With Me.

New poem. Enjoy.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I remember a time when the rain started to pour.
We looked outside and wanted to make it our dance floor.
I pulled back, thinking it'd only happen in my head.
But you opened up the door, looked at me and said:


Run with me, dance with me, the rain is so inviting.
We complain that life is dull, so let's be exciting.
We ran about, underneath clouds of gray
Got our hair wet, all cause you had to say:


Run with me, dance with me, the rain is so inviting
If I said this moment wasn't perfect, I'd be lying
I miss it so much, but I'll let it be
But never forget when you said "Run with me."

Please feel free to comment so I know if this sucks or not.

peace

New favorite songs.

Two new songs by Taylor Swift, that were not originally on her new album.
And they are probably my favorites by her by far.

Ours.

If This Was A Movie.

PS. I get to see Taylor Swift in one week :) My first real concert. EVER. So excited.

Alchemy.

So, during the end of summer I was having some relationship/friendship/love/dating problems. (If you know me and the situation I was in, you understand.) Anyway! I was talking to my mom about it. I told her how confused I was on what was right or what to think. (This was in August, right before school started) My mom pulled out this newspaper clipping titled "Boyfriend's 'perfect' ex fuels women's insecurity"

Yeah, my reaction too.

It's this woman asking for advice from the 'advice lady' of the newspaper and she tells her about how her current boyfriend's ex was a really beautiful, perfect, and they have great chemistry between them and how he had a fear of her breaking up with him when they were dating, which she was going to do because she got tired of reassuring him and his insecurities. They broke up, whatever, and he's dating this advice seeking girl. He doesn't worry about her because she's a 'real girl'. Which can be interpreted as: Not as beautiful, and not likely to dump him for someone better.

...insecure little boy.

Moving on.

Here is the 'advice lady's' response: 


There are two ways to fall in love. One is to fall for the individual, and that can include looks, mannerisms, voice, beliefs, talents, education and a whole lot of very important attributes. 


The other way is to fall for what you and this other person create together. Seamless conversation, easy laughter, a need to explain yourselves that verges on zero, a mutual and rewarding sense of purpose, a lack of self-consciousness, emotional security, and both the knowledge that you can take this person for granted and the certainty that you don't want to, because you want to give as fully as you receive. 


The first kind of love (love on sight) lends itself to looking over one's shoulder for rivals. If I'm blown away by this beautiful/smart/compassionate person, the reasoning goes, then others will be, too... and one of them will have a lot more to offer than I do. It's a valid concern, since there's always someone better. 


The second kind of love is of far higher value than landing a model or an M.D. Think "alchemy". The transformation of common materials into something precious.


Now ask yourself which you love have, one of attributes, or of alchemy?


(Carolyn Hax, Honolulu Star, Friday 8/12/11, D6)


It's good, right? I had never thought about comparing relationships to 'alchemy' before. I mean 'alchemy' is taking Boron and making Gold or something. Like, how does that work in dating? Well, after reading the article I've decided that I want to find my eternal companion by 'alchemy'. ...Wow, that sounds weird.... There are tons of people that I have wonderful chemistry with.

Chemistry: A strong mutual attraction, attachment, or sympathy.

Which is great and all, but can only take you so far with that person.

Alchemy: A power or process of transforming something common into something special.

That's the kind of relationship I need, I want, I deserve. I love dance and I like acting and Theatre. I like the arts. But, now my future husband doesn't have to be a dancer or an actor. I just want someone that I can create with. Someone that can encourage my creativity and my well being to be my best and I can encourage theirs. Someone who will give as fully as they receive.

Someone that I just fit with.

I always like to think of things like puzzles. Like, when I'm choreographing I try different ideas til I find the right "fit". My best friendships are always the ones where the other person fills in what I'm missing and I fill in what they're missing. And because we fit in the missing parts of each other we are able to help, grow, improve, and strengthen each others weaknesses.


-Dr. Seuss 

Now, maybe I'm getting too deep with this, and maybe that's a lot to ask of someone, but it's how I feel. I feel like that's why Heavenly Father brings certain people together. To learn. To learn something about yourself that you didn't know before. To learn something that will benefit you in the future. To learn whatever it is that Heavenly Father may have in store for you.

Sometimes we learn about letting go for the better. Whether we want to be with them or not, 'alchemy' stands true that you can get through anything. Writing this blog post and reading through the 'alchemy' list, I find that my past relationships had somethings missing, and we didn't fill in for each other. I had a hard time letting a couple of them go. Felt myself going crazy. Good thing I stopped before I got any worse...

peace

Testimony.

Today, the cast of Pride and Prejudice had a testimony meeting today at our director's house. Now, I have nothing against testimony meetings, I love em, I love hearing what people have to share. Though, I never share my testimony. Not that I don't have one, cause I do. But I only share it in large group settings when I feel that I absolutely have to. (Something about standing up in front of a whole bunch of people at church scares me. Too bad I'm a theatre major.)

Today was one of those selective times I shared.

My friend, Laura, was sharing her testimony and she talked about how just a couple years ago she was a completely different person, and how she has come back to the gospel. (My life story too, wouldn't cha know) And the whole time she was talking I could hear my heart beating and then my hands started shaking. It was like I had downed a couple energy drinks without eating anything. (My body is not accustom to caffeine, btw.) The spirit was practically screaming at me, in it's own way, to share my testimony after Laura.

I shared my brief, vague, life story. And she thanked me at the end of my testimony.

I did what I what I did. I don't know why I was thanked or why I had to share it. But I'm glad I listened, and followed through with it.

Go. Me.

peace

Housemates

So at my house or place or apartment (I live in someone's basement) There are four of us living here. I have a single room, and across from me is my friend's room. We're on one side of the house and on the opposite side of the house is a shared room with the other two girls living here. Both of these girls are engaged. Not to each other... that'd be awkward...
But they have found happiness, their eternal companions, love of their lives, blah, blah, blah... Whatever. And on my side, my friend and I are single, miserable, and hate life.

Okay, not really, we don't hate life but we are pretty miserable and stressed out over on our side. Anyway! We have crap everywhere in this house, our kitchen has so much stuff in it, I don't know who owns what, and I can't wait for some certain people to get married and move out so I can organize this kitchen! I just wanna have some organization in this place! When I moved in, no one told me where things go, and whose stuff goes where. I just kinda had to figure it out on my own. Yeah, I got it all wrong, I'm still finding out who has what drawer or shelf. I'm not offended or anything by it, I just find it all a little annoying but I can make this place more suitable to me and my friend in just two months. Oh, and I'm not quiet about it. I'm sure my engaged housemates are pissed about it, but I don't really care. I'm down with holding back everything, but I'm a blunt person, well, I used to be.
 I like being blunt.
Makes communication easier.

peace

Halloween!

Sooo, I suck at Halloween. I've never been good at coming up with costume ideas. I always just scramble something together last minute, if I even remember at all. And so for this particular Halloween dance at school, My friend, Yiselle, and I went as nerds. Superhero nerds. Okay, well, we just wore superhero shirts and suspenders and some glasses. It's all we had at the time! But, we did look cute. Just sayin'.

We always somehow go as the same thing to whatever kind of dance or school event where you dress up, and we are dressed almost exactly the same. Thank goodness, we're best friends.

Overall? It was a good dance. Definitely had it's highlights... like interpretive dancing with Brigham! Fun kid. Oh and here's my favorite costume at the dance. My absolute favorites. Too bad I can't ever be this clever when it comes to Halloween.

Oh, yeah. Do the creep.

peace

Perfect Starry Night

So for whatever reason last night (while my school was under a bomb threat) I decided to write a poem. Why? No idea. I don't write poetry. Or anything really at all. But I did! And it's on here. So enjoy...

We went up to the hilltop, to see the skies

I looked to you, stars caught in your eyes

We saw no moon but all stars on that night

and for the first time in a while I felt alright.

Right here, right now is what I needed.

Right here, right now, I'm not defeated.

Hold me tight now because it's completed 
like a perfect starry night...
(...like a perfect starry night...)


You wrapped me up like a blanket in your arms
I felt warm, and safe against all harm
But a cool, crisp breeze still hits my face
We feel so small in this giant place.


You looked to me, my toes begin to curl
You hold my hand like we could conquer the world
Count shooting stars, we close our eyes
and shared a dream and woke to orange skies.

Right here, right now, you're next to me

Right here, right now is how I'll be

Hold me tight now because you see me
like a perfect starry night...
(...like a perfect starry night...)


peace

Musketeers. Massacres. And Waffles.

Today consisted of old-time-rich-people dancing, smoothies, Roanoke, Beyoncé, Chris Brown, the new Three Musketeers movie, 3D glasses, Ihop being closed, looking for a gas station, seeing a deer get massacred by a car, Waffle House, getting pulled over, really nice cops, and coming home while hoping there's no psycho waiting for someone to let him in my house.

Yep, today was fun :)

peace

Homecoming Dance

I had such a fun night last night! I probably had one of the best dates I've had in a while! I went to the dance with a friend of mine, and before the dance we decided to make omelets! They were so good!

Then we got ready for the dance and pretty danced the whole time! It was an amazing night. I danced like crazy, danced with my friend and just had fun.

For the first time in a while, I've actually been myself and happy. Like really happy. I haven't figured out everything yet but I found myself again. It's funny how Heavenly Father answers prayers, I've been looking for an answer and he gave me something else that ended up be exactly what I needed.

Serendipity. It's a wonderful thing.

peace

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on. - the movie Forrest Gump

So I'm finally ready to start moving on. Things have gotten too complicated and things don't feel the same. I'm not ready for a new relationship or anything, but I NEED to move on. I've lost a sense of myself. I need to know who I am again. I don't think I did this but it feels like I spent the past month and a half being someone I'm not. I mean, I'm always myself but not really.. I don't know. Friends? No? I guess is not the time. It's never the right time.

But I have a date for Homecoming! It's my first step to moving on! I'm excited :)

peace

Are things even close to being over?

Welp, after a wonderful weekend of Conference, the day after, I find a reason to feel crappy again.

..efff

Things aren't right yet. At least... I think so...

Welp, looks like I got more soul searching to do.

crap.

peace

It's better to look up!

This weekend we had General Conference, and it was AMAZING!

Exactly what I needed. After everything that has happened to me this summer and the stuff I'm going through now, it came right at the right time. I've definitely learned a lot from it. Given me a new view on things in my life. Let's just say it was a spiritual feast!

Here are some brief things that were said that stuck out to me the most:

• DESIRE
• We are the reason he made the universe. We are everything to God.
• Our existence here is a small moment in space and time.
• We matter to him.
• Be as quick to kneel as we are to text
• It's better to look up.
• Look up. Step up. Cheer up. God wants us to be happy.
• Be a guardian of Virtue
• Be loyal to the royal in you
• "I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."
• Best compliment in this life: A Covenant Keeper
• Reach out. Serve. Assist.
• Be grateful for all the tender mercies that come into our lives.

What I have taken out of this General Conference is that I need to just put the Lord first and live the Gospel and trust the Lord that things will work out for the better. Heavenly Father loves me, and he wants to give me blessings. He wants me to be happy. He'll only tell me what to do if I make a decision. And I think I have. I look back at my life and I've come so far from 3 years ago. And when times are down it is better to look up.

peace

My oh my...

Today I just have bad feelings and I REALLY want them to go away. I keep thinking about things and they're giving me a bad feeling in my stomach... I just don't know what to do... Gosh, there are some people I really miss right now... I wish they were here with me...

Be better.

(Thoughts during church today and thoughts while listening to General Relief Society Broadcast)

"I feel like I could be better. That there are better ways for me to go about things. I can be better."

I don't need people to reach out to me. That will come in time, whenever they want. I need to reach out to people. I need to learn to let people in. Create that bond that I can call upon them when I need them most.

I am not a patient person. If I need something done, I do it myself. I've always been that way.

Why am I stopping now?

This is a lesson I need to learn. Learning to let people in, and in return, learning to be there for them and learning to not shut people out. I've been feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Confused and unsure of who I am and what I want.

I need to learn to put the Lord first and to seek his help. He will guide me if I ask him with a humble heart. He has always been able to guide me best by the people he has put in my life. I need to learn to rely on those I love. Reach out to them. It's what I need. 


Time to stop being selfish. Time to give, serve, and care for others.

peace

Dance Company

Here's our newest project in Dance Company.

It's a work in progress, but it's gonna be legit when we finish and polish it!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUmE6W9YjSs

peace

“You are the only one of you. From the beginning of time till the end of this world to the end of eternity. There’s only one of you ever created. Ev-er. You are the only you. That’s pretty powerful.

“So why on earth would you want to look like anybody else, dress like anyone else, dance like anyone else, be someone else, when you are a legend in your own right?”
-Mia Michaels

how do I feel today?

Today I feel...

Lost
Alone
Unloved
Unappreciated
Useless
Unwanted
and Inconvenient

Awesome...

Everyday I'm Shufflin'!!

This is why I love Dance Company and they are forever my sisters.

They are more than I could ever ask for.

You see, there is this mutual understanding between us all. We are dancers and there is a passion there that only we can understand. I never thought I would make friends like these here at SVU. But I am right where I need to be and who I need in my life at these precious moments.

Here I am with Aleah, being the goofballs that we are, shufflin'.

We're crazy. We know that. That's why we're friends.

peace

Life is what we all have in common.

“As I look back on all that's happened..growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me -- there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly love you. The past may be gone forever..and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.”

“If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.”

“Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain”

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”

“What makes life worth living is knowing that one day you'll wake up and find the person that makes you happier than anything in the whole world. So don't ever lose hope and give up, everything turns out okay and the good guy always wins.”

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou

“I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.” -Javan

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours”

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” -Neil Gaimen

“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.” -Dr. Joyce Brothers

Goals

I've been feeling very 'bleh' lately, like I have no purpose. I'm not saying this in a negative my-life-sucks way. I have just felt like I have nothing to do, and nothing to offer. I am however really excited to get back into classes. I'm one of those freaks that LOVES to be busy but hates the stress that comes with it. But! Thanks to some amazing friends, I have made a goal list, of short term summer goals and I added some long term ones on there as well. Turns out I had a lot more to do than I thought! I'm excited to get started.
Some goals I have been doing for a while, but it's good to keep them up :)

Some of my goals with my friends are things like: Making up a dance, arts and crafts, reading the Hobbit and the Peacegiver, looking for opportunities of service, etc.

My personal goals are more around the self-improvement aisle.
- scripture study
- improving my dance technique
- breaking bad habits and forming new ones
- keeping a positive attitude
and my biggest one...

JUST DO ME.

For some odd reason I'm letting what other people think of me get to me. I don't do that. Normally. I mean once in a while, sure, no one's perfect. But it's really beginning to effect me and that's not fair to me, and to others. I gotta be me. So starting now, I'm pushing the negative out and taking in the good. And doing it as ME.





This should be engraved in my brain already for how much I read Dr. Seuss as a kid, but I'm living by it now! 


It's the best way to find out who really loves you for YOU. And all of you. Good, bad, annoying, or weird as you get there will always be someone who will look at you and will never want to change a thing about you.


peace

my favorite movie

"Have you ever heard a joke so many times you've forgotten why it's funny? And then you hear it again and suddenly it's new. You remember why you loved it in the first place."
"A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him. And in that way he becomes immortal."
"There comes a point when any reasonable man will swallow his pride and admit he made a mistake. The truth is... I was never a reasonable man."
"There are some fish that cannot be caught. It's not that they're faster or stronger than other fish. They're just touched by something extra."
"There's a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost... the ship has sailed and only a fool would continue. Truth is... I've always been a fool."
"The biggest fish in the river gets that way by never being caught."
-BIG FISH (Best. Movie. EVER!!!)

Missing people

I missing a lot of people right now but the people I really miss right now are my Dance Company Girls.

Just sayin.

I miss them a TON. And it doesn't help when I have these awesome ideas for Dance Co. and I don't know what to do with them without my girls! :(

They're also the chilliest girls I know.

Bleh.

I miss them...

peace

My past week..

This past week I went to Canada. YES. Canada.
My birthplace.
My mother's land.
And just a really awesome place.

You see, the reason why I went is because my great uncle, Uncle Bud, passed away in May. We finally had a memorial for him on Thursday. It was really simple, but very nice. people in his neighborhood came and just visited and chatted. We all just spoke of my Uncle. it was really great. And very peaceful.

My uncle would have liked it.

My uncle Bud was 65 when he passed. He was this tiny man, very kind, and a very generous man. I love him very much and I miss him a lot.

Here are some pics of pics him that I took at the memorial.

And here's me with my mom and dad on Canada Day.

peace

"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when i'll need it most"

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”     


Any one have any idea how true this is? This is a Swedish proverb that I found a long time ago, and I always thought it was sweet but I never knew what it was like, til recently, to be the person actually saying this.


And needing this.


People can get mad at you and hate you for whatever you did, but knowing what you did wrong and feeling terrible about it AND having people shut you out when all you want is to be let in so you can change and fix it... is a very lonely feeling. 


This is why when ya got a kid and that kid did something wrong, or something they weren't supposed to, you can't get mad at them. You have to love them more. 


Honestly the world needs more love. People need to get over their insecurities, their pride, hate, and just love. It's hard sometimes but a world full of hate is 'bout what we got now. 
Oh, and it sucks. 


Aren't we commanded to love our neighbors, and to love our enemies. 


Whoever has done you wrong, know that they are gonna need a lot more love from you then any smack and angry words you want to throw at them.


What's the phrase? .... you can catch more flies with honey then with vinegar?  


Well whatever it is...


...ain't it the truth.


peace 

The Brady and Sarah Adventure!

So I have this new awesome friend named Brady.

And this is an adventure we had by a flip of a coin...

Yep. This sums up the night pretty well :)

peace

"..it's time to say goodbye..."

This week, actually past couple weeks, things have been crazy.

I'm talking no sleep on an emotional roller coaster crazy.

And there's this song that relates pretty well to what I've been going through. It's Adele's Turning Tables.

I love this song. And it may just be a new solo for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx7sLNyIeQk&feature=grec_index

Working Class

I have this job.

At McDonald's.

Yeah.

It's my second job, and yes it is still fast food. It's the only place that WAS hiring around here and well it's the only place I could actually apply to. So now I work there, and I work a whole lot. I'm about 5 hours away each week from being full-time.

I'm also in school.

And I'm in a musical too.

And they are both supposed to be my number one priority right now. Which is kinda hard since I'm working about 8 hours everyday... and about one and a half days off per week...

It's great... if I wasn't taking a class and in a musical right now. It wouldn't be so bad. Work would be all I have time for, and that would be fine in June and July...

Ugh...

It's a little frustrating...

I know they make me work a lot because I guess they think I'm a good worker. Which IS great...

I also got a recognition after my second week there.

I wanna be a good worker. I wanna do the best I can so when I leave and say someone that is thinking of hiring me in the future calls them, they can honestly say that I am a good worker, and work hard and yeah...

Life sucks.

peace

The Adventure of Saturday Night.

SO!

My best friend Jessie Carter and I DJ-ed a Mormon Prom in Harrisonburg on Saturday.

It was really fun. And during the dance I got asked to dance by this 17 year-old boy who asked me because "there was no one else his age"... (I'm almost 20) Then later in the dance he asked me to take a picture with him. He asked me because "his mom wants him to get a picture with a girl."

It was a group picture and there was 3 guys and 4 girls. There was this other girl and turned to the kid that I was taking the picture with and told him there's this extra girl and she's actually part of the youth. "Maybe you could take a picture with her." That poor little brat of a 17 year-old. "Oh well if you don't want to be in this picture you really don't have to." Like he was offended that I even thought of that idea. So I just blew it off took the picture, made it as awkward as I could. And said "see ya!" to that brat.

One of Jessie's friends invited us to go see Fast Five after the dance. So we did, but no of us knew where the Harrisonburg movie theatre was. So we had some difficulty finding it. Missed, I believe, the first 10 minutes of the movie. But... I LOVED IT! I thought it was really good. But I have never seen a Fast and Furious movie before. Jessie and I have plans to watch the first 4.

Then we had to take this kid and his friend home to his house. turns out the way to his house are the back roads of VA. So that means mountains. Oh... and it was foggy. And by foggy I mean FOGGY! Couldn't see a thing. Couldn't see the road. It was scary! I mean we hydroplaned for a little bit luckily we got out of it. I mean it was our version of Fast and Furious. And the dumb kids in the backseat were just obnoxious, and just immature. But it's whatever, they're in high school. Finally got them home! Jessie takes over the wheel and we go to Ihop. :)

We just had to chill after our own Fast and Furious adventure. Our waiter probably thought we were drunk, cause we were so tired. Then we went home. Jessie drove, and I was in the passenger seat singing along to the music except I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open so I'm singing in the car with my eyes closed like an idiot. Jessie somehow gets us home safe. And we're in bed by 5 in the morning.

An adventure well lived through but to never be repeated.

peace

Change

I'm going through a few changes in my life.

It's tough but I'm already learning a lot about myself and my wants and what's really important to me.

To deal with this all, I looked up quotes.

Here are the ones I liked best on change:



"The key to change... is to let go of fear" -Rosanne Cash


"Even though we've changed and we're finding our own place in this world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."


"There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction." -Winston Churchill


"Be the change you want to see in this world." -Mahatma Gandhi


God, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." -Reinhold Niebuhr


"Change is the essence of life. be willing to surrender what you are to what you could become." 





"Any change, even change for the better, is always accompanied my drawbacks and discomforts."


"We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude." -Charles Swindoll 


"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family." -Anthony Brandt


It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things." -Donald Miller


"Change starts when someone  sees the next step." -William Drayton


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely."




I hope you found this as helpful, and insightful as I did.

peace

To my mom

Mother,

You are the greatest mom in the world. You're always been there for me and you go beyond just to help me out in anything I need. I am so grateful for all that you have done and I am so proud of you. You are amazing, and I look up to you so much. You have an infinite supply of wisdom, your going back to school, you have such a strong spirit, and your love of the church inspire me. I hope one day I can be just like you as a mother. You've taught me so much and you love me no matter what. You give the best advice. You're the strongest person I know and I would be lost with out you.

 Mom, I love you. You are my hero.

Happy Mother's Day.

Your daughter,
Sarah

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.  ~Washington Irving

FINALLY!

I'm done with finals and it feels so good to say that!

Ah! Sweet freedom for just a few days till May-mester starts. More school for me.

But I am really excited for it. I got the May musical with my best friends Jessie and now TREVOR! He's gonna be in it now :) and I'm freakin' excited! Summer nights with them and my other friends. Dance parties ALL the time!
OH! I got a job! At McDonald's. Hahaha! I thought I would never work there, but I swallowed my pride and applied. So I'll finally be a workin' girl again! ..yay..

ANYWAY!

Summer is HERE! YESSS!!!!! :D

I just had an epic paint war a couple days ago. I totally recommend them.

peace

Life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger.

Life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger.


I really like this saying. It's definitely what I have learned this semester. Life is tough but it is building me up for when I need strength the most. Heavenly Father would never give us anything we couldn't handle. Everything happens for a reason and we are to learn and grow from our experiences.

It's what makes being human so special.

peace 

Feeling Lost...

I miss my mom.

A lot...

When I miss her I start watching clips from old musical movies.

Nothin' like Gene Kelly to make me feel better and at home :)

Love it.

peace

Happy Easter!

I have had a wonderful Easter today :) I couldn't ask for a better day.

Today I had church and then afterwards Yiselle and I decided to have a little photo shoot behind our house. We had our Easter dresses on so we couldn't resist.

Here's a few photos :)

There's a bunch more on my Facebook!

After that Yiselle left for the DC Temple. The SVU Orchestra and the Chamber Choir went up to perform movements from The Redeemer. So after she left I just chilled all day and worked on some posters for my Clown Final.


peace

“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”

“A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.”

I've gone through many friends and people in my life, but there are a few that mean the world to me. I feel that it is time that I write about them in my blog.

I have many people that I talk to and trust. I call them my friends. BUt there are a few that I would truly give my life for. They are the bestest of the bestest of friends to me. I like to think of them as the sisters Heavenly Father forgot to give me. But I am lucky to have finally found them.

I love my friends, they truly are amazing to me. They inspire me like no other. I am so grateful to have friends like the ones I have at SVU while I am by practically by myself at college and while I am separated from the one person that is from the place where I grew up. 

(Sariah Rodriguez and I at Disney World. She came

last minute with me so I wouldn't die

while driving there and to have some

one to hang out with. She's the best. I love this crazy vegetarian.)

(Jessie Freakin' Carter. I love her so much!

She inspires me a lot. She's a beast at the piano too!

The May Musical is definitely our thing. It's how we met.

We pretended to beat up a fake baby. )

(And here is my Cuban Goddess friend, Yiselle Wilson. 

She's my roommate and my best friend. She's

the first friend I made here at SVU, and we've

been through a lot together. She's a big inspiration

to me also. I'd take a bullet for her, or bury a dead body

for her. Love her.)

(Oh yeah, that's my Little One, Jenny Kinzey.

 Been best friends since our senior year of high school. 

She's amazingand crazy smart. I really wish I

 was as bright or as clever as she is. But I will forever

 be her Miguel,and she my Tulio. 

I love her like a sister.)

I thank Heavenly Father everyday for these people he has brought into my life.

I am truly blessed.

peace